Chelsea Handler Shape Magazine April 2010

Chelsea Handler appears in a bikini on the cover of Shape magazine's April 2010 issue.

Thank Heavens for photoshop.

Check out some highlights from the 35-year-old's interview:

I was born with a french fry in my mouth

"My parents were not the healthiest eaters." Says Chelsea, who, growing up, was allowed to nibble on Yodels and Doritos between meals. "My mom was a great cook, but her idea of light after-school snack was mac' and cheese and brownies. So of course I was like, 'Why am I 15 and struggling with my weight?' It took me a long time to deprogram myself after I moved to L.A."

It's my diet, and I'll drink if I want to!

"I told my nutritionist, 'I'm not going to quit drinking. I love to hang out with my girlfriends and have cocktails and dinner, it's how I relax. He explained that calorie-wise vodka isn't so bad, as long as you drink it with soda. Knowing I could have drink made it easier to stick to the program."

I was a fitness fiasco-until I found Pilates
"I've tried them all. But I'd usually end up quitting because I'd get bored. Or, as with yoga, after months of doing it, I'd still have belly flab. And doing cardio at the gym can be so annoying! I hate it when there are 50 treadmills and I'm the only one there, but then someone just hops on the machine right next to me! Hello! [Pilates] has been the most gentle on my body."