It’s been a long four days but fret not, American Idol is back. We’ll be seeing the top 8 fellas tonight in the following order: Blake, Sanjaya, Sundance, Chris R, Jared, Brandon, Phil, and Chris S. Good for Sligh, nabbing the big finish spot. Everyone’s looking very styled this evening…not a bad thing all around, but Sanjaya had an unfortunate run-in with a flat iron.
Ryan wants to let you know it won’t just be torturous suspense and crushing disappointment on Thursday’s results show. A big announcement will be made! And Carrie Super-Boring Underwood will be there to look insincerely supportive of the current crop of contestants. I can’t wait.
On to the singing. Idol is asking everyone this week to reveal something about themselves. Comedic opportunity abounds! Will the guys capitalize on this chance to earn some likeability points? And can they build on last week’s strong showing? Find out…after the break.
Blake: You may not know that Blake enjoys improv comedy and Halloween. Meet his SNL-ready character Jimmy Walker Blue. Oh Blake, that was so wacky. Even wackier? He’s singing 311’s “All Mixed Up”. I’m nervous for Blake’s safety, as Scott Stapp is bound to show up and announce that he’s “ready to fight”. It’s a good performance, and Blake is (as always) kinda cool, but it’s not a great vocal song. Randy thinks Blake is very current and though he didn’t recognize the song (?), he liked it. Paula also didn’t know the song (again…?). Simon thinks Blake stands out as an original.
In the red room, Ryan wonders if Sundance’s emotions at the results show were real or for the cameras. Sundance defends the tears as genuine (and started by dreamy Chris Richardson) as Simon cynically shakes his head down below onstage.
Sanjaya: Wow, whodathunk Sanjaya could hula? These are some earth-shattering revelations thus far. He’s going more current this week with John Mayer’s “Waiting on the World to Change”. He’s louder and has more energy but he’s still so weak as a performer. He just meanders around the stage when he needs to plant and sing. Randy thinks it was better than last week, but wonders what happened to the Sanjaya from auditions. Paula thinks he needs to raise his game. Simon posits that it’s his hair that’s keeping him in the competition, because it sure isn’t the singing.
Sundance: Sundance announces that he’s thin in real life and he just wears a fat suit on TV to avoid being recognized on the streets. Ba-dum-bum. He sings “Jeremy” and I don’t like it. It feels like an impression. He’s yelling a lot too, as though he’s asking us to admire the gruffness in his voice. It’s inauthentic and blah. Randy thinks it was pitchy but enjoyed the Southern rock spin on Pearl Jam. Paula thinks he found his groove midway. Simon says Sundance lost his charm.
Well would you look at that, Travis Tritt is in the crowd. And Randy is producing his upcoming album. Coinkydink!
Chris R: The ladies will be surprised to hear that Chris was 40 pounds heavier and played football in college. To make it up to them he’s taking things slow, singing the super-sensitive Keith Urban tune “Tonight I Wanna Cry”. This may be a good choice for cementing his fan base, but Chris is not going to win anyone new over with tonight’s performace. It puts all the attention on his vocals which are thin (verging on whiny). Randy somehow loves it. Paula thinks he adapted it well to his voice. Simon thinks it was good, but cutesy and nasally. It earns Chris R. what is shaping up to be this season’s Simonism: “I wasn’t jumping out of my seat”.
Ryan asks the men in the red room to give him some Jared Cotter face mask. Hottt. Speaking of…
Jared Cotter: Jared played Division II college basketball but he quit to do music. He’s singing a Stevie jam, “If You Really Love Me”. Jared has a nice, fun, easygoing personality onstage that makes him enjoyable. Though he struggles a little to balance his singing with his performance, this is the strongest we’ve seen him. Randy thinks it was solid. Paula says he needs to work on coloring up the way he sings. Simon goes further and tells Jared he’s unoriginal. He then takes the opportunity to send a message to all the guys: They’re not providing any “wow factor”.
For the official red room response, Ryan goes to Brandon and Phil. Brandon advises that folks “leave it all out there”, while Phil reminds the judges “how passionately [he] love[s] them”.
Brandon: Brandon’s secret foolishly serves only to raise our expectations of his musicianship: he’s a classical piano player. He’s singing Sly and the Family Stone’s “Celebrate”. I dig Sly, but it’s not doing a lot for him. He’s trying to really lay it out there, but despite all the training I’m still not sure about his voice. Randy likes the song and thought it showed that Brandon has some edge. Paula thinks it was phenomenal. Simon says Brandon has not represented himself well thus far and he’s worried that while Brandon deserves to stay, he may be sent home.
Phil: Phil lets us know that he wasn’t always bald. He joined a group that made him keep his hair short (ummm…the military?) and just started shaving it all off instead. He’s singing “I Need You” by Leanne Rhi…wait. What the fuck was that noise? That’s the song? Phil saves it with some nice falsetto “you oo ooos”, but the beginning was just….Wow. Randy says that Phil reminds him of Steve Perry, if Steve Perry couldn’t hit any lower notes. Paula think it was an off choice and his lower register is “chancey”. From the hat to Phil’s eyes, Simon didn’t get the performance. He’s very disappointed.
Ryan riffs on the eye remark, implying that Simon might be acting a bit “off”. It’s just not American Idol without a gay joke, ladies and gents.
Chris S: Chris is mercifully ending the night for us. He lets America know that his head was shaven just two years ago, which made him look like a hotter Phil Stacy (ha!). Chris sings “I Wanna Be Loved” and it’s easily the best vocal of the night. It’s natural, the lisp is endearing, and he rocks the key change. He’s so confident out there it makes me wonder: Why were they ever doubting this guy’s voice? It wasn’t Randy’s favorite song, but it wins the night. Paula wants him to take risks- she’s actually pretty smart and constructive tonight. Simon thinks Chris has a lot of potential.
Newly humble Chris (no one wants to give America a reason to dislike them tonight) takes the comments well and asks for his requisite hug from Ryan, allowing Simon to close the show with another gay joke. Zings all around.
It’s hard to disagree with the judge’s assessment that only 4 boys are worthy of being in the top 12. Still, we’ve got to pick 6, and here are mine: Blake, Chris S, Chris R, Brandon, Jared and Phil, leaving Sanjaya and Sundance out. Of course, that’s terribly wishful thinking, and Brandon, Phil, or Jared will go home tonight, victims of Sanjaya and Sundance’s hair. Sigh. See you with more tomorrow!
