Anna’s Big Pink Sendoff
Anna Nicole Smith was finally buried yesterday in a funeral ceremony that brought trashy to a whole new level. Anna’s coffin was covered in a pink velvet blanker, with feather trim and pink silk flowers, covering the casket was decorated with Swarovski crystals. The gems spelled out “Anna Nicole” and also formed a smiley face (which apparently symbolized how Anna really died of a broken heart). That news comes from ET who reportedly signed a multi million dollar to be the only TV outlet allowed in the charge. The only photogs allowed in were Splash News Agency (the same agency who Anna Nicole’s mother Virgie brought to the morgue with her to view Anna’s corpse)
The white hearse that carried the coffin was even forced to wait in the parking lot for 45 minutes while her estranged mother Virgie made a last ditch effort to stop her daughter from being buried in the Bahamas. The Rev Lloyd Smith used his eulogy to castigate Virgie in her attempts to stop the funeral. He also gave vent to his disgust on the legal ramblings that had delayed Anna Nicole being buried. Virgie was the last person to show up. However she was the first to take the pulpit, “you were a beautiful baby. We love you. Goodbye, my baby daughter”. Larry Birkhead was next up, he finished his eulogy with the phrase, “Goodnight, Sweet Anna Baby”. The phrase she had liked to hear before going to sleep. Howard Stern cried his way through his eulogy and kissed her coffin. His eulogy bore a resemblance to the inside of a Hallmark card: “The truth, there’s only one truth, it’s not what people say in court, even if those people are blood relatives,” Stern said. “The truth is what you live . . . what you touch, what you feel, what you see with your own eyes.” Even the dead managed to make a showing for the burial of the former Playmate of the year. Anna Nicole’s bodyguard, ‘Big Moe’ carried an urn containing half of her dead billionaire husband J Howard Marshall. Anna was buried in Lakeview Memorial cemetery. The procession was watched by about 1,500 locals and tourist who booed Virgie but cheered Stern and especially Birkhead. White doves were released at the ceremony and in a scene reminiscent of a badly written film one of the doves refused to leave the top of Anna Nicole’s coffin even as it was lowered to the ground.
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